I don’t know you, but I have found that the closer we are, the harder it is to have an open and honest communication with others.
This is critical, because as social beings, relating with others and networking is key for our wellbeing and joy.
But, why is that the closer we are, the harder it is?
Based on my experience as therapist, coach and woman I would say that the closer the relationship is, the brighter the mirroring process they trigger is and the easier the buttons of our insecurities and limiting beliefs are pushed.
As a consequence we don’t communicate our ideas, needs, desires and feelings openly and honestly, as we are afraid of the response we’ll get, we don’t want to confirm our limiting beliefs, we don’t want to hurt them, or hurt ourselves.
We then feel unheard, unsupported, lonely and even sometimes isolated, or resentful, because we expect to receive support, help or love from a person, who doesn’t even know that we’re expecting that from them, because we haven’t asked for it.
Are you with me on this?
Is it harder for women?
I’ve found that we, women, mostly in intimate relationship, have the tendency to expect the other person to know what we want, need or feel; or to read our faces, grimaces and mutters, making it even harder to have a clear and open communication, which in turn, impacts the relationship.
In confess myself guilty on this; I have done this not only with my partners, but also with my daughter who has been also my more close relationship.
Another factor affecting our communications
Another factor that affects our communications is that we have become so disconnected from ourselves, that we are hardly able to listen, understand and read what our body, emotions and inner self are telling us.
We live in our heads, frequently like with a block in our neck, disconnecting us from our heart and feelings, which reflects in our communications. If we can’t connect with ourselves, we can’t connect with others, feel empathy, get in the other’s shoes, because we sometimes don’t even really live in our own shoes, but being what others expect us to be.
Where are you with your communications?
This is a key question. I have found that the more I listen to myself and become aware of what my emotions, my body or my intuition are telling me, the better my communications with others have become.
I don’t have a partner or spouse yet, but my communication and relationship with my daughter and my closest friends keeps improving, as I become more aware of myself, also I have learnt to ask for what I want and I’m in the process of learning to say NO when I want to say so, from my heart, thinking of myself and my needs first and then in those of others.
How are you communicating with your loved ones?
How is your communication with yourself?
Would you like to explore on how to improve your communication with your loved ones, but don’t know what to do? Book your Free Exploration Session and let’s explore what you can do.
Photo: Richstar via Pixabay